Friday, January 25, 2013

2013, I think we are going places...

Now that it's near the end of of January, I'm reflecting back on my unintentional new years resolutions. I say unintentional because my iron resolve to not let my muffin top mock me in the mirror and my 20lb weight gain evidenced by my new drivers license photo came all right after Christmas. Oh, Christmas! with your shortbread packed plates and your ceaseless offers of spirited beverages. Not to mention the traditions that bind you to a chair/couch/bucket seat with family in stress-eating inducing scenarios. By the time January 1st came along, the 1st circle of Dante's Inferno, (which if I recall correctly, is a slightly neglected post-baby body) had seared through the hardened arteries of my heart and penetrated my soul.

Now, my sage body-management advice (after loosing 4 to 6 pounds) comes down to this: Every time I want to eat something when I'm not hungry, I lift up my shirt a little and look at the glorious work that time and sin have done to my belly. That's all. It cures my craving every time. Take that, Cosmo and Weight Watchers! I'm cruising down Weight-loss Highway in the carpool lane with my middle finger up to Crossfit and Curves. Ahhh... I love the smell of arrogance in the morning. Smells like, binge eating in a dark closet.

In addition to that morsel of good news, I have high hopes for this year. I put a lot of significance in a calendar year. For example, if I ever see 2009 again I'm going to knock it's teeth in. 2011 was a year of wondrous metamorphis where I not only changed physically and gave birth, but I lost many of my fears. 2013 feels good to me. I think I'm going to get out of debt this year(Dave RamseyFinancial Peace Revisited (Revised Edition) by Ramsey, Dave [Hardcover (Google Affiliate Ad)).
 I might have to sell dog-hair pillows on the street corner, but if my goal is acheived, I will shave my head. No I won't, but I might shave my dog. Well, I might HAVE to shave my dog for the pillows.

In conclusion, may your 2013 be just as furry and balanced on a new digital scale as mine. Cheers, dear reader!

2 comments:

Shelley L. Houston said...

Where's the "like" button?

Unknown said...

"Ahhh... I love the smell of arrogance in the morning. Smells like, binge eating in a dark closet." - well said. ;)